Jason: It needs more salt.
Elisabeth: You always say that. You’re a salt fiend.
Elisabeth: It’s important to do a thorough vaccuming job and that includes doing the edging, PLEASE.
Jason: You have OCD, Beautiful.
Jason: The [fill in vegetable] in our garden isn”t growing. They’re not going to make it (as he fingers whatever said vegetable).
Elisabeth: STOP right there! Don’t you dare pull them up! You have to be patient.
Elisabeth: Jason, please don’t throw Ian around like that. You’re going to snap his neck or his brain is going to disattach from his skull or something.
Jason: I know what you’re thinking: baby chiropractic appointments. I’m not paying for them.
Jason: Grab me a towel quick, quick, quick! Ian just spit up in my general vicinity [or touched me with this dirty, food-filled hands].
Elisabeth: And explain to me again how this falls line with your insistence that Ian be a boy and get dirty?
Jason: I don’t feel good. I think I’m coming down with something.
Elisabeth: Here, take this homeopathic remedy.
Jason: How much am I paying for these sugar pills?
Elisabeth: Jason, isn’t Lizzie so cute and amazing?
Jason: Umm, yes.