Here are some facts you may not have known about our current weather crisis.
- everyone who has ever said “Swimming in Greenlake . . . eww gross!” has currently bombarded the lake’s beaches and submerged their pasty white bodies in its questionable waters
- the employees at the Ballard Fred Meyer currently answer the phone with “This is the Ballard Fred Meyer and yes we did just get a shipment of 1,000 box fans in.”
- somewhere someplace Al Gore is listening to a report on CNN about our heat wave and saying “SEE global warming IS real!”
- our particularly water-conscious, environmentally-friendly residents are taking 3 cold showers a day with no shame and feeding themselves with plastic cutlery because heaven forbid they turn on the dishwasher
- all breastfeeding mothers (including myself) have retreated to dingy basements, sitting next to stinky cat litter boxes listening to the mesermizing sound of the washing machine, all in the attempt to keep body temperatures below 100 degrees
This too shall pass.