Several years, I came across John Piper’s “A Challenge to Women”. I found it encouraging during the time I was unemployed and trying to discern where God would have me be next.
Today I was cleaning out an old file box and found a paper copy of this list. In this season, #13 is particularly convicting for me.
“That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might, and maximizing your joy in ministry to people’s needs.”
I tell myself that I am going to be more giving, less greedy and jealous. I’m going to stop worrying about money. I will stop comparing what I have to what others have. I will stop wishing my grass was greener.
But telling doesn’t seem to work. Those dangerous substitutes are very satisfying to my heart–sadly, more satisfying than Jesus is.
To prove this, God sends some everyday heat into my life. In response, my heart spews nasty filth, usually directed towards or at the expense of someone I love or am called to love. Then my pride gets me all angry that I responded wrong.
Repeat cycle again, as often as is necessary for God to get it into my heart that this is a problem.
I am praying that I stop loving money and get on with loving Jesus.
“But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding . . .” (2 Cor 10:12)