What would you do? (I realize by starting a post this way, most of you are already waiting for the coming rationalization. I am not one to disappoint.)
There is this stunning blond that you have had not one, but two whole conversations with, and maybe 3 back and forth emails. You are trying to decide what would be the best first date, something real casual, fun, different. What little you know about her is that she loves books. How about this? A Friday afternoon you know she isn’t working, invite her to meet you downtown. You take off work early (you work downtown), meet up at Elliot Bay Book Company, impress her with your love of books, reading and writing, casually grab dinner maybe at Taco del Mar there in Pioneer Square, and end the day early riding the bus back to her house having enjoyed a great Seattle date.
Sounds good to me!
But not so good if what she is thinking involves something like this:
Nice dinner, romantically picked up in a car, sitting down at a restaurant where a waiter brings you food, ordering from menus that you hold, maybe some wine, lots of talking, coffee and chocolate later, dropped off, walked to the door, romance, pursuit, risk, vulnerable, effort.
If that is what she if hoping for, what she is hoping for doesn’t involve the Metro, and if you suggest the Metro, she will probably cry and never call you back.
True story, but obviously that isn’t the whole story.
Introducing Chad Brown. I have known Chad for… well… I don’t know Chad, at least not at that point. Chad and his wife Keisha had been going to my community group for about a month. I have had few conversations with them, but the blond and Keisha are good friends and when she tells her of my date recommendations, Chad offers to help. And help I need. The following Tuesday evening after CG, Chad pulls me aside and asks to talk. We go in the back room; he sits me down and asks, “What are your intentions?” Having not really thought all this through, I shrug and we begin our friendship.
Chad slaps me around and points out that if I like this girl, having her ride the bus down to meet me on our first date will not get me what I desire, a second date, or frankly, a first one. He opens my eyes to the reality of my stupidity and in not so many words challenges me to step up, pursue her, and take a risk.
So the first date was this:
We did go to Elliot Bay, but I picked her up, in my car. She knows to dress up because sweat pants at our 7:00 PM dinner reservations at Tango won’t go over well. We look at books. We drink coffee at Starbucks and debate the parables of Jesus. Dinner is amazing and we have OUR wine, Marques de Caceres, 2003 Crianza. Desert happens at the Fireside room of the Sorrento Hotel where we talk more about our futures, our desires, our hearts. I leave the evening enthralled. The hook is set the following morning when she calls me up and invites me to go shopping with her at REI.
I am going to marry this girl. I am going to marry Elisabeth Kiemele Krohn.